


Dear Diary

by Crazycakes



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-17 01:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4647171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazycakes/pseuds/Crazycakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All written in Carols diary</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. just the start

** Dear Diary **

_Dear Diary_  
_He has been gone now for quite a while out looking for good people and supplies with Aaron, I miss having him around, and I can tell Eric misses Aaron he kinda looks a bit lost without him, that’s the way I feel without Daryl. Lost._

_Dear Diary_  
_He isn’t back yet._

_Dear Diary_  
_I went out today, Tobin asked me to go shooting with him and I said yes. Tobin is nice and reminds me of the men I knew when I was younger but he isn’t him. Anyway though, he asked if I would go to his tonight for a home cooked meal, it would be nice to not have to cook for an evening. Should I go? Rosita thinks I should and so does Tara, but they are both so young and naive when it comes to the heart. I really don’t know what to do about it, I almost went looking for Rick to see what he thought but I highly doubt he cares about such things; he seems to be very busy these days, just like all of us. I wish Hershel was here I know for a fact he would give me the answer I needed._

_Dear Diary_  
_Okay so went. He was nice just as expected. He was a gracious host. His cooking was fine. Can’t decide whether or not I actually like this man? I know he likes me that’s more than obvious. Maybe I need to just go for it; I can’t sit around and wait for Daryl to give me what I want because I would be foolish to think he loved me romantically I anyway and he isn’t back yet._

_Dear Diary_  
_He came back!! He came back!! He isn’t hurt. He is alive. They didn’t find anyone new but they did bring back a lot of tinned food. Should I tell Daryl how I feel? I don’t want to lose him or what we have already. Oh yeah and I am ignoring Tobin currently knocking on the front door, I hope he thinks I am out._


	2. This is stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is what Daryl may write in his diary

_This is stupid_

_God if Merle could see me scribbling in a diary he would call me a douchebag, but I see the idea Aaron had when he said it helps him, and gave a book to everyone. Been out recruiting for a few days now and not much luck, gotta say its kinda nice having this to write in when I can’t be assed talking to him._

 

_This is stupid_

_Found a few good things to take back, can’t wait to see Carol, I wonder if she misses me or even notices I am gone? She was acting strange before I left, I worry about her even though I know she can hold her own._

 

_This is stupid_

_Don’t know why, fucking stupid though, she can’t honestly like him, Tobin for suck sake, she went on a date with that loser. What a load of horse shit. This is stupid Okay I done something bad real bad don’t know why I let it bother me so much. I had, had a couple drinks and seen him walking down the street. I told him to leave her alone and that a woman like that don’t go for losers like him, I mean christ look at her, even in that shit clothes she still looks nice. If she finds out I said anything to him she is gonna have my balls._

 

_This is stupid_

_It’s been a while since my run in with Tobin and so far he hasn’t said anything to her, she doesn’t know anything. She even brought me round a few beers._

 

_This is stupid_

_She smiled at me today_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Carols diary

_Dear Diary_

_I caught him looking today; I always seem to catch him but most of the time he looks away, however he didn’t look away this time and he even smiled back, it’s rare to see him smile these days._

 

_Dear Diary_

_Over the past few nights Daryl has stood outside my house looking up at my bedroom window, I am scared to go down and ask him in, I think he might run off if he knew that I knew he was there._

 

_Dear Diary_

_It’s getting to the point in my life now where I want to find someone who will share my bed with me. I don’t really want to brag but I know there is a lot of men here who would do that, Tobin for one has been following me around like a dog in heat, Rick has been staring at me but I could be imagining it he did almost hyperventilate a few days ago when he walked in on me in the shower, maybe he is just embarrassed, Eugene called me ‘smoken hot’ which I suppose is a good thing. I only want one man though, I want Daryl to be the one that sleeps next to me and keeps me warm, I want to be able to keep him warm too. What I really want is him to undress me and explore me inside and out, make me feel alive. I want him to look at me like I am his favourite meal and all he wants to do is devour and savour it all. This will probably never happen though._

 

_Dear Diary_

_Daryl why don’t you just knock at my door, I am here waiting for you._

 

_Dear Diary_

_Fuck it, I am going to have sex with Tobin, that’s it, it’s decided. I can’t change my mind it’s been written down. Or maybe I will just kiss him, don’t want him thinking he can have it any time he wants. Right? I don’t know what to do. It’s just been so long since I have felt someone touch me and want me and I know Tobin wants me even if it is just to fuck me for his pleasure only. Would I regret it?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goes back to Daryls Diary, with a little part coming from Aarons

_This is fucking stupid_

_Okay so I get it, she obviously doesn’t like me, hell she might as well just throw herself at him the way she is acting, I know that aint her. He is never gonna know her like I know her. Even if that prick Tobin is lucky enough to get into her bed or even kiss her. He aint never gonna have her the way I have her. Never._

 

_This is fucking stupid_

_I know she doesn’t love him. She doesn’t smile when she sees him or even look that happy when he gets back safe from being on the construction site. She smiles when she sees me, That must mean something, right?_

 

_This is fucking stupid_

_I can’t get her outa my damn head, everything is brighter when she is here with me, everyone knows we belong together, Rick told me she loves me. I just want the chance to give her everything I have and teach her everything I know and hold her close when the world is too sharp for anyone to handle anymore. Wish I had the balls to tell her. If she is truly happy with Tobin then I could maybe learn to let her go. I would have to spend a lot of time outside of these walls to do that though. Carol you are loved more than you know._

 

_This is fucking stupid_

_Goin recruiting with Aaron, need to get my head straight. Hopefully he won’t talk too much. He knows something is up, maybe he will have a word of advice for me. Shit he probably already knows the nosy bastard, he always seems to know everything about everyone or maybe he just gets the info from Eric he seems like a busy body, reminds me of my great aunt Trudy._

 

_Dear Friend Strange_

_Daryl asked me to go recruiting early, I don’t mind going it’s just… strange. Unlike him. Eric thinks it’s because he want to get away from Carol, probably right. Eric is the love of my life but he really does know how to butt his way into other people business and listen into private conversations. He told me he heard Rick telling Daryl that Carol loves him. This is unsurprising, a blind man can tell he loves her and she loves him._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back to Carols Diary

_Dear Diary_

_Daryl has gone outside with Aaron a few days early, I wonder why?_

 

_Dear Diary_

_Things seem to be going well with Tobin, he seems to really like me and it’s nice to have a man waiting on me, I just can’t bring myself to kiss him yet, he is being very patient though. Seems I am not as forward as I said I was before. Maybe I am being silly, here I have a man who likes me and wants to spend time with me and does nice things for me, but all I can think of is the man who can’t seem to stay behind these walls or come to my door to even say goodbye before he leaves. I worry that every time he leaves Alexandria he won’t come back either he dies or he runs away. Can’t decide what’s worse._

 

_Dear Diary_

_Had an interesting conversation with Eric today. He said that I wasn’t fooling anyone and it just looks really, really sad what me and Daryl are doing. Eugene did say he likes to know all the facts on the folks here, but then again I am sure Eric isn’t wrong ._

 

_Dear Diary_

_Oh god why does this always happen to me, this part of life should be a walk in the park on a sunny day. Tobin was over last night to have dinner and he kissed me. I didn’t know what to do I panicked and I cried, that’s right I fucking cried. He looked so shocked and kept apologising, I am such a horrible person, I don’t like him and I have been leading him on for weeks. I told Tara what happened; apparently I picked the wrong person to tell because she wouldn’t stop laughing and said that she had ‘never heard of anything so horrific’. I also blurted out what happened to Rick he just went all red and quiet then said ‘surprised you didn’t stab him’. Times like this I wish Hershel was here to give some words of advice. I am sure a lot of us think that though._

 

_Dear Diary_

_Thats it all closed up for business._

 

_Dear Diary_

_Daryl is back with Aaron and they are both safe, I wonder how long it will take for the both of them to find out about what happened the other night. My money is on Aaron to find out first. Obviously._


End file.
